“I had fainted. Unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and he will shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. (Psalm 27:13-14, KJV)
Have you ever sinned? I am talking about the type of sin in which you deliberately decide, “I am going to do it despite what the Word of God says.”
I have.
The true anguish and turmoil came after I had carried out the act. I remember questioning myself, “What have I done?” I also have a memory of proclaiming that I belonged to God. However, I now understand I cannot claim to be His—if I willfully sin when I know better.
Repeatedly, I asked myself, "What's wrong with me?
Remorse set in. I worried God wouldn’t love me. My mind told me, “You'll never see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13). Then I thought, “Why even continue to serve God? There is no recovery from this.”
I was in one of these mental battles when I went lemon picking recently. I was anxious that God would never forgive me for committing my sin. I kept thinking God would never bless me after this.
Yet, God is merciful.
A friend invited me to pick lemons from a tree, and I wasn't sure what to expect. Upon reaching the location, I gazed at the tree and thought, "How will we get all those lemons down?" I hadn't brought any tools with me. My friend had a short ladder, and another friend who owned the tree gave us a fruit hook. I asked if she had a citrus picker, a basket with prongs on a long pole, and she did.
The citrus picker should have made the job easier. My friend was pulling down four lemons to my one, while I should have been pulling down more. I didn’t understand what was wrong. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I looked at the picker. Half of the prongs were mangled, making it difficult to grasp the larger lemons.
I had to figure out how to use the picker to my advantage. Four of the eight prongs weren’t damaged. I began angling the picker so that I grasped the fruit. The Lord began to speak to me in that moment of my sin. He asked me, “Did you repent of the sin?” I responded, “Yes. Let me repent again. Lord Jesus, please forgive me.” He said, “You are forgiven. That’s why Jesus came.”
My mind was blown! It was as easy as inviting God to communicate with me so that I could attain forgiveness from the Lord and myself. The Holy Spirit provided me with four insights to further my journey in recognizing the goodness of the Lord in the living world. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by thoughts suggesting that God doesn’t love me because of my sins, I inquire, “Have you repented?”
If I have repented, then I would receive God’s forgiveness. If I haven’t repented, I must seek forgiveness.
Once I received forgiveness, the work didn’t stop there. The Holy Spirit revealed three things I needed to do to harvest the Lord's goodness. I needed to wear the right gear and gloves to protect my hands when pulling lemons for the tree.
I required safety glasses and a hard hat to protect my eyes and head from falling lemons and other debris. The same is true for looking for God’s goodness. I need to see my life through God’s lens. I must protect my mind with the time in God’s Word to show how He sees me.
The Holy Spirit last revealed to me that I need determination and focus. Picking fruit from the higher parts of the tree required me to focus on one lemon at a time. I couldn’t let myself be distracted by what my friend was doing. Walking with Christ, I must fix my eyes on Jesus daily. When I concentrate on Him, I don’t get drawn away by sin.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I cherish you and desire to be devoted to you in this life. Grant me the strength to resist sin and recognize Your goodness in all aspects of my life. Help me to embrace the whole armor of God. May I concentrate on Your boundless joy, peace, love, and kindness each day. Amen.
Your Turn: Have you ever deliberately sinned and wondered what you’ve done? Did you repent and ask for forgiveness? What did God reveal to you? Have you put on God’s lens to see the good things in your life? Are your eyes FOCUSED—Fixed On Christ’s Unlimited Supply Every Day?
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