“It’s Okay to be Joyful!”

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them."— Psalm 126:1-2 ESV

Growing Up Black in Pursuit of the American Dream

I grew up in a middle-class two-parent household in the Midwest and Texas. My sister and I didn’t have everything we wanted, but we knew we were loved. My parents worked hard. Like many others, they were chasing the American dream of owning a home. During the pursuit, they still understood that they were raising Black girls in a world that wouldn’t always appreciate them.

They made sure my sister and I knew we were cherished, smart, and beautiful. As the oldest, I went with my dad to many places until my sister was born. My mom tells me that when my sister arrived, she took my place as my dad’s shadow. She wanted to sit next to him at dinner or behind him in the car. My mom says I took it all in stride. I never doubted that I held a special place in my father’s heart.

The Impact of a Father on Building Self-Esteem

The example my father set for me was essential in shaping my healthy self-esteem. Watching him treat others with kindness, respect, and confidence taught me to value myself and believe in my worth. His actions demonstrated what it means to be strong yet compassionate, which has helped me face challenges with resilience and self-assurance.

Fast forward to my first real job after finishing graduate school, where I worked for a church. The visionary pastor was growing a network of churches throughout Virginia, North Carolina, and South Carolina. He intimidated me. I felt the need to anticipate his next move. I didn’t do a good job. I was always two steps behind. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to meet his expectations.

Overcoming Challenges and Loss of Self-Worth in a Demanding Job

I eventually moved on to a different job where I dealt with demanding and sometimes difficult customers. Some of these customers verbally attacked my gradually diminishing self-esteem. I stayed in this role, and the verbal assaults continued, which slowly worsened my self-esteem even more. By the time I relocated to Florida, I was exhausted and felt like I had lost all sense of worth to anyone.

Three years ago, I landed a position that I truly love. I enjoy the people and the work. The work brings me joy. No customers yelling at me. No scary bosses. Little by little, my self-esteem began to be restored. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, “It’s okay to be joyful!” I hadn’t realized until then that I was holding my breath. I was waiting for something to go wrong in my professional life. I was waiting for someone to start yelling at me. My heart was prepared for a fight, but there wasn’t one.

Embracing Restoration: A Journey to Wholeness and Spiritual Renewal

The restoration I’ve experienced is the process of healing and becoming whole again, especially after hardship, loss, or spiritual distance. It involves reconnecting with God’s love, reaffirming faith, and reclaiming a sense of acceptance, peace, and purpose. Restoration is significant because it renews our hope, strengthens our trust in God’s plan, and enables us to move forward with renewed strength and clarity. This process often requires patience and openness, but the resulting transformation is deeply fulfilling and sustains us through life’s challenges.

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Your Turn: Have you ever experienced a time when your self-esteem was chipped away? What did you do? Did you ever find yourself in the middle of God’s blessings, expecting something bad to happen?

Prayer: Father God, help me begin to see how you are blessing me. As I acknowledge your blessings, may my heart be filled with joy. Restore my trust in you again. Father God, heal the wounds left by past experiences. Let me laugh again with joy. Amen.