Good Grief!

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. — 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NIV

It’s been said that grief is love attempting to cope with loss. There’s a correlation between the depth of grief we experience over loss and the loving connection that we have with the one who has passed. In my service to the Lord as a local church pastor and later as a U.S. Navy chaplain, God had me be a part of the coping process for many families grieving the loss of a loved one. It is called “Ministry of Presence,” in which clergy have the privilege of walking with families through one of the most difficult times in their lives and demonstrating the grace and comfort of the Lord.

No two instances of grief were the same. The deceased ranged from natural causes and terminal illness at the local church to service members who died in training accidents or in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. Expressions of grief varied too, from quiet tears and sobbing to open wailing and mourning. The only consistent thing was that each instance brought me to a new family, heartbroken and in need of consolation.

Each heart knows its own bitterness,

and no one else can share in its joy.

–Proverbs 14:10, NIV.

Recently, it was my turn to experience grief. My mother passed away at eighty-five after a long period of debilitating physical ailments. It wasn’t Alzheimer’s or dementia, which rob many people of their memory and mental faculties. No, my mother’s mind was as clear as tap water right up to the day she passed. Her physical ailments, though, relegated her to being bedridden for the last two years of her life. At first, we cared for her with visits from in-home health aides and traveling nurses. Over time, her symptoms required round-the-clock care in an assisted living center. This is how my grieving began: Every evening that I had to leave her in that facility in the care of caring strangers, my heart broke. Even though I did my best to keep the moment of departure upbeat through prayer and encouraging words, it was difficult to leave the woman who never left me in my entire life.

Shortly after she passed, someone asked me how I was feeling. “Relieved!” was my instant response. My mother’s suffering was over, and so was the feeling of guilt that I couldn’t escape while she was still ailing. But I told that person that I had an enduring sense of joy, too. Not only was my mother done with her battle with her body, but she was now resting and rejoicing in the presence of the Lord. She was a lifelong Christian who was experiencing the consummation of her faith: eternal life through Jesus Christ.

As Christians, the hope we carry while we’re living and the assurance we have when we pass comes through our faith in the resurrection of Jesus. That assurance is so certain that the Bible refers to the death of Christians as those who have “fallen asleep." Death serves as a temporary portal for the believer, leading them into a living eternity with Jesus. To be clear: Christians will experience loss–we are not exempt. However, we have a living hope, and it is the only thing that transforms that experience into — "Good Grief."

Loss

A hole formed,

a puncture wound came

and snatched my dear one.

Their absence refuses to be

satisfied by grief.

Then came coping advice:

Be present in the pain,

where prayers and screams coexist.

Give space for silence,

where kind words often fail.

I have learned

love and loss are

congruent experiences.

Devotion matches

the depth of sorrow.

Farewell comes to everyone–

live long enough, and you’ll see.

May the memories you leave

surpass the accolades

listed in the obituary.

©David Reid Brown, 2026

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Prayer: Gracious Lord, we thank you for the hope we carry through our faith in you in this life and for the assurance of eternal life you bring us when we pass away. We thank you for being "the God of all comfort," showering us with your love and compassion when we suffer in our grief. We thank you for the opportunity to demonstrate the same care for those in our circles that we have received from you. Thank you for being the only “good” that dwells within our grief. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Your turn: How does God use your experience with grief as a testimony or witness to others? How can God use your presence to encourage other believers who are currently experiencing grief?