“So, then faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” (Romans 10:17 KJV)
For as many years as I have been a Christian, I have been a doubter. I doubted how God could desire me, have a purpose for me, and how He could use me in His kingdom. I could blame my childhood, bad friendships, or poor choices altogether. No matter the root of my doubt, my faith has consistently been marred.
When I got married, I moved from Canada to Missouri, USA. I quickly learned of my new home state’s motto: “Show me.” This attitude of show me was easy to identify with. I had lived believing in God but doubted He could or would always be there. I feared that sooner or later, He would eventually leave me like many people in my life did. So, I lived a life testing His limits, subconsciously using His commandments as a checklist of rules to test. How many laws could I break before His love for me would end?
Through years of church and bible studies, I learned about many biblical characters, searching to identify with one of these heroes of the faith. Could I be? Would I ever be like these people, so sure of their faith that they could lay everything down for their Lord? Then I met Thomas. This peculiar character stood out, for he was labeled; “Doubting Thomas.” Good old Doubting Thomas. What a name to be remembered by generations.
Jesus’s disciple, Thomas, has been often taught as the one who lacked faith enough to believe without seeing. And those who could believe without seeing were called “Blessed.” But does this mean that Thomas was loved less than the others, and what of the rest of us “show me” believers?
Scripture tells us in the book of John that it is better to believe without seeing. Does having doubts mean I lack faith?
Like Thomas, I know who Jesus is, and I love Him. I struggle to believe things others retell to me without experiencing these truths. I can believe them for others but struggle to apply the truth of the depth of God’s love for me.
I recently was listening to a sermon on the topic of doubt. I will paraphrase what stood out to me: If the absence of doubt is what God requires of people of faith, then what would become of His Mother? Her response to the angel who came to her to deliver the news of her divine pregnancy was a resounding “What? How?”
Once Thomas could examine Jesus’ wounds, he could process the truth more profoundly. Once Mary could process the information the angel had delivered, she wholeheartedly believed, even at the risk of rejection from those around her. These two are not the only ones who struggled with doubt. As I have grown in my walk with the Lord, I have come to see that many of the bible’s great heroes of faith also said, “Show me’.
Some say believers who believe without seeing walk in blind faith, giving it a negative connotation. At the same time, others judge doubters as lacking in faith. I have learned that both are acceptable if they have a relationship with Jesus. Though doubts can trip us up, doubting while walking and talking with your Savior can deepen your faith.
I’ve lived many years ashamed of my doubts and considered them failures. I’ve doubted how much God would forgive me, how far He would go until He stopped loving me, and how in the world He could ever use me. God has met me where I am at. Accepted me just as I am and embraced my questions and my doubts. Instead of rejecting me, He smiles at me when I come to Him. Instead of condemning me for my concerns, he wrapped His arms around me, looked at me in my eyes, and said, “Let me show you!”
Prayer: I come before you with a heart full of doubts. Sometimes, I struggle to believe in your promises, even though I know that you are faithful and true. I ask for your help to overcome this doubt and unbelief that hinders my faith. Please show me how to have faith in you, even when things don't make sense. Help me trust in your love, goodness, and plans for my life. Please reveal yourself to me in a way that I can understand and believe. Lord, I know that doubts can be a stumbling block on the path of faith. But I also know that you are bigger than my doubts and fears. You are the God who can do the impossible, and I believe you can help me overcome my doubts. I thank you for your patience and your grace towards me. Please help me to grow in my faith and trust in you more and more each day. I pray that you will guide me, lead me on the path of righteousness, and help me always keep my eyes fixed on you. Thank you for hearing my prayer. I believe you are faithful to answer, and I trust you. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
Your turn. Are you willing to open yourself up to the possibility of experiencing divine guidance and direction from God in your daily life?