In the past few months, I feel the Lord has compelled me to use my writing and speaking in new ways. I have been speaking out about our country’s lack of commitment to biblical justice, as I understand it through prayer and contemplation. I’ve been using my gifts to serve God more boldly.

Most people think it is a great month of new beginnings, new goals, and new possibilities. For me, January has been a month of fasting, self-evaluation, and regrets. The regrets from the past year come crowding in. They whisper in my ear, “You are a failure. You are not good enough. God doesn’t love you. If he did, then you would have this or that. You will never. . .”

Suddenly, uncontrollable tears streamed down my face as pent-up emotions surfaced. I reached for a tissue while tears flowed, and relief flooded me. God uncovered the dreadful memory of a critique where someone’s harsh criticism plunged me into deep despair. After forgiving her, I thought everything was well, but it didn’t erase the words stuck in my head.